Never Knew
by The Dark Shark
Summary: [OneShot] Suze is starting college but it isn't easy when a guy named Paul keeps bugging her. She thinks he hates her...but does he?


**Fellow JFCers, do not fret for I am still one of you. I just did this to get it off my chest. Now I feel better. But I have not gone over to the dark side.**

**This is about Suze going to college for the first time, and much to her chagrin, this guy keeps making fun of her. Three guesses who. By the way, Suze and Paul don't know each other before. And Jesse does not exist. **

**I dedicate this to Lolly aka Mystique Angelique, for being the true Paul lover that she is. **

**Now the story.**

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I don't get it. 

Ever since I first came to Sanderson College he's been making my life hell. It's not like I ever disturbed him or get in his way. But he makes it his business to get in my way. Which I don't understand why.

"Suze, you're coming?" Cee Cee called from the hallway. She's already on her way to class.

I sighed. I felt like staying in bed the whole day and never wake up. So that I don't have to go to college to face him.

Paul Slater.

I can't even say the name without feeling like my stomach has dropped to the floor. I've always pride myself for being this kick-ass tough girl who can lay a punch on people without breaking a sweat. Okay, maybe all the people I've punched are ghosts. But they're still people.

Yet when I'm around him, I felt like all my bravado has melted away, leaving me breathless and speechless. It does not help that he's extremely hot either. It just adds to my nervousness.

"Yeah, coming," I grabbed my bag and walked slowly to my bedroom door. Cee Cee was waiting for me in the living room of our apartment that we share with 4 other students. She was wearing a purple sweater set with black pants, and her hair was done up in a ponytail. She looked gorgeous. I almost smiled thinking of what Adam's reaction going to be when he sees her. I should bring a camera.

"That's a cute top, Suze! Did you buy that at the LeMarks's sale last weekend?" Then she saw my face. "Cute outfits should be with cute faces, Suze. It doesn't go well with miserable."

"My outfit is not cute. It matches my mood. Which, according to you, is miserable."

I was wearing a green sleeveless turtleneck top with my favorite dark blue jeans and sneakers. It's comfortable, and I picked it out in less than 5 minutes. I could hardly care how it looks. That's the best thing about college, though, is that you could wear jeans. Coming from a Catholic school, this is almost a luxury. "And I've had this top forever."

We started walking to campus, which is about a 10-minute walk from our dormitory. Our dorm is cool though, it's actually a 22-story high condominium, and each apartment has 3 rooms which 2 students share. Thank God I have Cee Cee as my roommate because I would have a hard time explaining about the conversation I have with ghosts who gave me nightly visits had I been with another roommate.

"It's him, isn't it?" Cee Cee suddenly asked. "That's why you're in a bad mood."

Cee Cee has not been called one of the smartest people in her class for nothing. Her smartness goes beyond books and the Internet; it swells onto people skills too.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, trying to avoid the subject.

"Come on. Ever since we met him, you've been having bad moods almost everyday. Admit it."

"Look, so what if I have? I have a good reason in the form of an annoying guy. Who I have to face almost everyday. Hence, the bad moods." I scowled, shifting my backpack.

"Maybe you should just talk to him. Say that if he has nothing good to say, then don't say anything. Or you could ignore him and don't let him get to you."

"Cee Cee, I've tried all that, okay. But everytime I say something he just makes fun of it." We've reached the college. "But thanks for your concern anyway. I'll just try my best to avoid him and everything will be fine." Yeah, right.

Cee Cee smiled at me and said that she'll meet me for lunch, then we went our separate ways. She's taking journalism, while I'm taking psychology so we didn't have any classes together.

I walked to the lift and pressed the button, waiting for it to arrive when I heard someone said my name. So much for avoiding certain annoying people. It's barely even 2 minutes. I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

"Suze." He said again, this time coming closer. "You're looking good today." I could practically hear his smirk in his voice.

I ignored him, and continued facing the lift.

"I have a feeling you're avoiding me. And I don't know why. Maybe my charm is too much for you to handle."

That's it. I spun around to face him, and was about to tell him to shove his charm up his ass, when my words caught in my throat. I saw that he was wearing a cream-coloured sweater with a black leather jacket and black jeans. He was holding the strap of his backpack on one shoulder while his other hand was in his pant's pocket. He was leaning against the wall besides the lift, smiling his usual smirk-smile.

And he looked drop-dead gorgeous.

I tore my eyes away from his body and glared at his face. Which was a mistake, because now I could see his clear blue eyes and his soft lips and it made me feel hot all of a sudden. But I determinedly pushed it all away and looked straight into his eyes. Easier said than done.

"I think you should take your charm, and shove it up your ass." There! I said it. Now I feel a little better, especially since he looked a little taken aback. But then he recovered his smug look and smirked again.

"What an interesting thing to say. Been thinking about my ass?"

My mouth dropped open. The audacity of this man! So what if what he said is true. He didn't know that so he can't make assumptions about it.

"No, Paul, I haven't been thinking about your ass or your body or whatever part of you because I haven't been thinking about you. I have better things to do than think about some jerk who is so full of himself that he thinks everyone is thinking about him. Which in actuality, they are not. So get over it."

I pressed the lift button again, a little harder than necessary.

He stared at me, then walked over to where I was standing and stood beside me. "Well, that's just too bad, Suze. Because I certainly have been thinking about you."

I think my heart stopped for a beat. He couldn't have meant that. He hated me.

I struggled to say something. "Really? Thinking about how to make my life more miserable? You don't have to go out of your way, Paul, because you already succeeded."

The lift opened. Finally, I could escape from him. I waited for everyone to get out of the lift then walked in. But of course he followed. It's not like he has anything better to do. I pushed the button to fifth floor, hoping that he would press the button to another floor but he didn't. Figures.

"Making your life miserable? Since when did I do that?" He sounded puzzled.

I sighed but I didn't look at him. No, because if I did I would lose all my speech abilities again. "Since I knew you existed. Since the first time I met you at the cafeteria and you made fun of my shirt." My shirt said _Here Comes Trouble_ and hardly worth being made fun of. Yet it was.

"Since everytime I bumped into you, you never fail to make a joke about me in front of your friends. Since…" I trailed off, suddenly feeling depressed.

Since I realized that I was in love with him and he didn't love me back.

The story of my life.

He was quiet. I was relieved. Maybe I've gotten into him and he would leave me alone now. I mean, it's hard enough knowing that I'm in love with quite possibly the biggest jerk I've ever known, but it's harder when he makes fun of me. I guess it just hurts me that he treated everyone else so nice but not me.

"I just thought that you might find it funny. I mean, you're different than the other girls here. I didn't think it would bother you that much." He said lightly, like he thought it was funny.

"I don't find jokes made about myself particularly funny, Paul. But I guess you wouldn't know since you've never made any attempts to actually get to know me." I tried to keep the disappointment in my voice from surfacing and focused on sounding angry. "You know what, it doesn't matter. Just leave me alone from now on."

The lift reached the fifth floor and I was about to get out but he grabbed my wrist. Gently. Weird. I looked at him.

He looked completely serious now. "I thought we were friends, Suze. Don't tell me you don't look forward to talking to me each day."

"Friends don't make fun of each other. And if you haven't notice, you're the one who speak to me; I never wanted to speak to you. You would realize that if your ego hasn't clouded your senses. Your head is so big, I don't know how you could walk straight."

I pulled my hand away and got out of the lift just before it closed. I didn't care if he thought I was nuts. I've had enough of his games.

I walked into the lecture hall and sat down on my usual place at the bench. I was early, and the class hasn't filled in yet. I laid my head on the table.

He was right. As much as I hate to admit it, I did look forward to meeting him each day. To hear what he has to say, which sometimes _is_ funny. Even if he's making the jokes at my expense. I mean, if there's anyone who laughs at me more than him, it would be me. I'm not humor-challenged.

But I just wish that he would stop doing that and just see me for me. Be serious with what he's saying and mean it for once. Admit that he likes me more than just a girl he makes fun of. Pull me into his arms and tell me he's sorry for everything he's done and that he wants to start over.

Yeah, sure. In Suze Dreamland.

The class filled in, and a few minutes later the lecturer, Ms. Walsh walked in. She passed the attendance list and the class started.

I tried to concentrate but I couldn't help thinking about Paul. Great. Now he's in my head. Just because he said he's been thinking about me doesn't mean anything. He could've been thinking about all the girls at college for all I know. I mean, who knows what kind of girls he meets in his law classes? Probably all smart and funny and beautiful, just like him. No wonder he makes fun of me. I must look like a kid compared to those girls.

Stop it. Stop thinking about him and listen to the lecturer, I told myself. So I listened.

It was about half an hour into class when I noticed a glow to my right. I turned and saw Eric. Eric as in the ghost who died in a car accident about a month ago and whom I've been trying to mediate for a week but won't listen to me. He was the ex-husband of my lecturer, and he's been trying to make me break the relationship between Ms. Walsh and her new boyfriend, which I refused to do.

I mean, come on. He's been trying to get her back ever since the divorce and he had failed. He couldn't get her when he was alive, of course he couldn't get her when he's dead. But obviously he doesn't share my opinion. Instead, he vowed that if he can't get her, no one can.

I stared at him as he walked down to the front of the class. I hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid, but then again ghosts don't really care about doing anything stupid. It's not like anyone can see them. Except me. And that's not exactly a wonderful thing.

He walked over to her and stood behind her as she speaks from behind the projector. Then he smelled her hair. I tried not to gag. Memories of Michael Meducci at the mall when I was in high school came flooding back. Obsessed psychotic killer. But at least he wasn't a ghost.

Eric looked up at the students, and saw me. He grinned wickedly, then walked over to the door and dematerialized. A few seconds later the fire alarm rang.

I groaned. Of all the things to pull. I bet he just wanted everyone else to leave while he gets her alone. This is so typical of stalkers. They think the object of their affection wanted them or something.

The students stood up and rushed out the door, some calmly, some hurriedly while Ms. Walsh called out to us to walk in an orderly manner to the field. I lingered behind, and when I reached outside the lecture hall I pretended to walk to the staircase but after the last student has passed me, I turned back. I stomped to the class and pushed open the door. Just as I suspected.

Ms. Walsh was standing in horror in front of the class, looking at a hovering book. When the ghost who's been holding the book saw me, he threw the book at me. I jumped to the side, and ran at Ms. Walsh.

"Miss, I think you should leave now." I grabbed her hand and pulled her, keeping my eyes on Eric the whole time. She looked at me, terrified. "Did you see that? The book was in the air…but there's no one there. Did you see it?"

He threw another book at us. I ducked, but Ms. Walsh screamed and fell to the ground. I pulled her up, and said again, "Miss, you should leave now! You don't want to be caught in the fire, do you?"

Let's neglect the fact that there's no fire because I had to get her out of there. It's bad enough that she had to see the acts of a ghost, but now he's throwing books at us non-stop. Some hit me on the back, and let me just inform you that it _hurts_. Psychology books are _not_ thin.

She looked pale, but let me pushed her to the door. I think she was officially freaked seeing books flying towards us by themselves. But as we reached the door, she suddenly turned to me and asked, "Suze, what about you?"

Oh, she thought about me. How touching. Except that I was too angry about being hurled books at to care at the moment. "I'm coming. You go on first."

Unfortunately, this little conversation distracted me and I didn't notice that Eric had come to stand behind me. Next thing I know, I've been hit on the head with the text book of _Abnormal Psychology_. I fell forward, prompting Ms. Walsh to scream again and ran out the door.

I groaned painfully from the ground. I felt behind my head and looked up just in time to see Eric going out the door. I stood up as fast as I could, considering that I could be having concussion after being hit with a 500-page book, then hurried out the door.

I saw that Ms. Walsh was being held against the wall, choked by what seemed to be invisible hands. But her eyes showed that she's more terrified at being strangled by an invisible man rather than her impending death. I hoped she doesn't need therapy after this.

Now I was really angry. I had to fight Eric in front of my lecturer, and if she remembered all these later, I would have to do a lot of explaining. I strode over to them and punched him at the side of his head. He let her go and turned to me. She fell to the floor, looking like she was going to faint, but instead she ran like hell to the staircase. I didn't exactly blame her.

"Stay out of my way, kid." He snarled and threw a punch at me.

I ducked and kicked his feet, making him fell on his back. I jumped up, sat on his stomach and punched his face, all the while talking to him.

"No, I won't stay out of your way because you are really bugging me. What the hell are you doing, trying to kill my lecturer? You think I'm gonna let you get away with it, so that I would fail this subject when I've worked my butt off on the assignments and my mother has paid a lot of money to send me here to study so that I can get a degree and get a good job and be a worthy human being? I don't think so. And oh yeah, books are made to be read, not to hit people on the head with." I punched him for what seemed like the sixth time.

Somehow he managed to grab one of my arms and twist it to the side. Painfully. I tried to punch him with my other hand, but he already pushed me off him. I fell back, holding my arm and trying to shake off the pain. That's when I heard someone called me. The second time the same voice has called me today.

I got up and looked behind me. Paul Slater was running up the hall, looking concerned and weirded out at the same time. Oh great. Of all the people to see me fighting an invisible man, it has to be him. Just another thing for him to add to his list of "Things To Make Fun of Suze Simon."

I didn't have time to reply though and turned towards Eric. Too late. I felt a punch land on my stomach even before I managed to look at him. I gasped in pain, stumbling back. I try to hit back even though I haven't recovered my balance yet. Which I shouldn't have done because he proceeded to grab my arm and threw me across the hallway, causing me to crash against the door of the lecture hall.

As I lay down on the floor trying to get my bearings right, I saw him coming towards me. But then he staggered back, looking amazed. Exactly the way I felt.

Because Paul just punched him.

"What…?" Eric stammered, but Paul just punched him again. Then he snarled, "Why don't you keep your hands to yourself and stop hitting innocent girls?"

I was astounded. First, because Paul appeared to be a mediator just like me and second, because he just called me innocent. That's like a compliment, coming from him.

Eric recovered from his shock of seeing another mediator and returned Paul's punches. I stood up, and watched them fight. I was trying to get over my surprise that Paul is defending me. Then I realized that he was trying to, anyway. Because Eric was a huge man, and as good a fighter Paul was, he was getting his butt kicked as well.

I decided what to do, then waited for the right moment. It came when Paul kicked Eric's stomach and the ghost fell against the wall besides me. I grabbed his shirt, closed my eyes and shifted to Shadowland.

When I opened my eyes, I was there with him. I let go of his shirt and looked at him. He was gawking, looking around at the corridors. The first time I learned how to shift from Father Dominic, it was pretty scary. But after a few trips to there, I'm fine with it. As long as I know that I can come back to my body.

"Where are we?" Eric asked, looking confused and scared at the same time. Looks like he had forgotten that he was supposed to be fighting me like he just did a few minutes ago.

"We're in Shadowland. It's a place where spirits can move on. Spirits like you." I said not very nicely.

He was looking at the doors. He went to one of them and lifted one of his hands as if to turn the knob, but then he turned to look at me "What's behind these doors?"

I wanted to say heaven so he would just go in but that wouldn't be fair. As irritating as he is and as angry as I was at him, I think he deserved to at least know the truth.

"No one knows what's behind these doors. Only that you will go to where you're supposed to go. It could be heaven or hell or another life. But once you go in you cannot come back."

He stared at the door knob. "You mean I won't be staying here anymore? I can't see Andrea anymore?" He looked at me again.

I didn't know how to answer him other than tell the truth. Again. So I did. "No, you won't be staying here anymore. You'll move on. And you can't see Ms. Walsh anymore."

It was a little disconcerting, since he looked as if he was going to cry. He _was_ crying! I felt extremely uncomfortable. Am I supposed to go comfort him or something? I didn't know what to do.

Eric wiped his tears with his sleeve, then turned towards the door again. "I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't mean to hurt any of you. I was just…I think I'm still in love with her…it's hard for me to see her with another man." He was speaking to the door. "I think it's time for me to leave."

Then he opened the door and disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

I heaved a sigh of relief. Well, so much for that. My job is done. I closed my eyes and shifted back, hoping that the students haven't come back yet or they would have found me unconscious in the middle of the hallway.

As I came back to my senses, I heard someone calling my name and shaking my shoulders. I opened my eyes groggily and immediately held my head. Post-shifting headaches are the pits.

Then I realized that it was Paul who was shaking me. I focused my eyes onto him and saw that he was kneeling beside me, looking worried. Almost to the point of panicking.

"You're awake! Thank God. Are you alright?" Now he looked relieved. "I was fighting that ghost, then next thing I knew he had disappeared and you were unconscious."

I sat up slowly. He was still holding my arms pretty tightly, and seemed to want me to say something. And so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"You're a mediator."

Paul looked confused for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I am. And so are you. What are the odds, huh?" He gave a little smile.

"Tell me about it." I started to stand up, but he held me down. Surprised, I looked at him.

"Are you sure you're okay? Because you were unconscious. And that ghost guy got you pretty bad," he said.

I stared at him, feeling his hands on my arms and my heart beating fast. Was he actually concerned about me? It was very unusual.

"I'm fine, Paul. It's just part of the job, that's all." I tried to stand up again, and he let me. But he was still holding one of my arms. And truthfully, I didn't want him to let go. "Thanks for what you did back there…you know, fighting the ghost."

"It's nothing. You looked like you knew what you were doing, and I just helped." He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"How did you find me anyway?" I asked.

"I saw your lecturer. She was pretty hysterical, and saying something about an invisible man. I suspected that it was a ghost, so I decided to come here."

That cleared things up. He thought he was meeting a ghost here. Instead he saw me fighting one. Must have been a shock for him as it was for me.

Paul spoke up."You know, when I saw you fell back there, I thought you were… dead. And I realized that there are so many things I haven't said to you and all I wanted was for you to wake up so I that can tell you." He gazed into my eyes, and I saw that his blue eyes weren't icy as usual, but gentle.

"I'm sorry for all the things I did. Making fun of you. Laughing at you in front of my friends. Hurting your feelings. It's just that, you're so different than the other girls. I meant it when I said it earlier. You have this confidence in you that I couldn't explain, and it unnerved me. And the only way I could think of getting rid of that was by making all these jokes and putting up this act. I didn't want you to think that I was scared."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Either he's confessing to me or he's making all these up so he can laugh about it later. But I couldn't help thinking that he was sincere. And I wanted to believe him. Oh God, I wanted to believe him.

"Well, it worked. I didn't think that you were scared. I thought that you were annoying. And that you hated me."

He stared at me for a moment, then laughed. Okay, now we're back to reality. He's laughing at me again. But then he said something unexpected.

"How could I hate the one girl I'm crazy about?" He chuckled and let go of my arm. I felt disappointed, but then he took my hands into his and held them. "Suze, I never hated you. I couldn't hate you if I tried. You're too amazing. And now that I know you're a mediator too, how could I pass up a chance to get to know you? So can we forget about the last few weeks and start over?"

I was speechless. All I could think about was the fact that he said he's crazy about me, and that he wanted to start over. I felt a smile creeping into my face, even though I was determined not to make it easy on him. "Are you serious?" I asked.

"Yes, I am. I may not have been serious before, but I am now." And he did look serious. "Unless you don't want to."

This time I smiled genuinely at him. "Of course I want to. I've been waiting for you to be serious with me for so long."

He grinned. "I knew it. You couldn't resist my charm."

I rolled my eyes and pushed him away playfully. "Okay, I take back what I said."

He laughed and pulled me to him, making my heart thudding hard again. "It's too late. You can't take back what you said, because I'm holding onto your words," he said, brushing my hair off my face.

I felt my face flushed for some reason. I think it's the proximity of both of us. Which was really close, since he had one of his hands on my waist and the other one placed on the wall which I was standing against. And he was kinda…leaning on me. But I managed to say, "Fine. We start over. And how do you suggest we do it?"

Paul raised his eyebrows, looking surprised and delighted at the same time. I was feeling pretty much the same until he said, "Well, Suze, obviously on a bed, or if you'd prefer, on Walsh's desk since the class is empty –"

I was horrified when I realized what he was implying. Even worse, how_ I_ must have sounded when I asked him that question.

"Paul! Eww," I snapped. Talk about a mood-breaker.

He laughed and looked playful, but his blue eyes were serious. He lifted his hand that was on my waist and traced a finger down my face, all the way to my lips. Then he brushed his thumb against them, making my lips felt like they were burning. "I have an idea. First, you tell me that you're crazy about me too. And then I kiss you."

I would have laughed if it wasn't so difficult to breathe. His eyes were piercing mine, and somewhere in my mind I was aware of the sounds of students coming back from the field after the fire alarm incident, but I didn't care. All I cared about was that Paul said he was going to kiss me and looked like he meant it. So I did what I should do.

"I'm crazy about you too." I said. He smiled, and kissed me.

Looks like there's no need for anymore trips to Suze Dreamland. And most certainly, no more bad moods.

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Reviews please! 


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